Wednesday, March 3, 2010

She's Back...

Aren't you glad she's finally out of the spotlight? Kate Gosselin is just about the most un-newsworthy person whose face nonetheless constantly appears on every talk show and magazine cover. I am so glad that show was cancelled and we don't have to hear her screaming fits over not using coupons while she parades through her million dollar home or watch her bag on her husband for mis-using pronouns or ending a sentence with a preposition.

And just when you thought it was safe to turn on the television...

She's back! And this time, she's dancing!

There are so many things wrong with the idea of Kate Gosselin returning to prime time, I don't even know where to start.

How about I start with this--It's called "Dancing with the Stars". Since when is Kate Gosselin a star? She's not a star. She's a mom. And kind of a neurotic one at that. I mean the woman wouldn't even let her children walk barefoot on the hotel carpet for fear of germs. Remember that episode? How about the one where she stole the ice cream from her 3-year-old children on a hot day at Disneyland because she didn't want them to get sticky? Or the time she just about blew a gasket because the baby sitter had given her children gum? Documenting her freak-outs over perfectly normal childhood activity on television, does not make her a star.

I wonder what kind of drama she'll bring on herself with this show. I can't wait to see her correct her dancing partner. Because you know she will at some point. I can just imagine the post-dance interview:

Dance Partner: "I feel real badly that we didn't do better."

Kate: "It's really bad, not real badly. And if you would have done the turn and the lift the way I told you to, we would have done very well." She smiles at the camera and brushes her bangs aside. "There are some things I need. If he would just give me what I need..."

And somewhere Jon Gosselin is experiencing a nervous tic because her words aggravate his Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

I just have to clarify that obviously I'm not completely opposed to parents exploiting their children for fame or attention. I mean, just take a look at this blog. Of course, I got my children's permission first. They were all in agreement that being blogged about was no big deal. You see, my oldest daughter is on her way to becoming a stand-up comic. They all know that nothing in their private lives will remain private if it is good for a laugh.

Besides, they all believe that our crazy life would make a more interesting reality TV show than anything Jon and Kate or the Kardashians, or even Gene Simmons can come up with. Because ours is actually real. Real people don't have Emeril coming over to make Mac-n-Cheese. No, real people's children end up catching their Easy Mac on fire in the microwave because they didn't add the water. Real people don't get all expense paid trips to Hawaii. No, real people camp in the backyard because there isn't a single weekend that doesn't have a soccer game or dance recital or church social scheduled. And because there's at least one daughter who will not pee without indoor plumbing. And real people not only let their kids eat ice cream on hot days, but let them eat melting rainbow-colored snowcones at the zoo. Then they wash the sticky hands and spray SHOUT on the stained T-shirt when they get home.

I might be stepping into the Mom Snob role, but I can't help it. I have to announce that Kate Gosselin is not a Roaring Mom. She might be a ranting mom, or even a raving mom. But she is not a Roaring Mom. Roaring Moms guide rather than control. Roaring Moms aren't perfect. And the best thing is, we know it. Kate Gosselin, on the other hand, doesn't seem to.

Still, the network must have known what they were doing when they returned Kate Gosselin to the spotlight. Those who love her will undoubtedly tune in. And those who profess to be a little sick of her, will probably tune in, too. I just can't wait to see her critiqued by the judges. I hope they are as harsh as she was to her husband. That might be a show worth watching.


  1. For the longest time, I didn't even know who Kate Gosselin was, let alone who Kate and Jon were. Unfortunately, they didn't stay anonymous to me forever. You'd think shame or at least a little embarrassment would have both of them keeping low profiles, but it seems neither has a lick of sense.

    As I'm not a DWTS fan, I thankfully won't have to worry about cringing. I'd rather clean the toilet than to watch her do anything.

    And, hey, I'm far from being the perfect mom...and proud of it! ;)

    Thanks for yet another chuckle and laugh!

  2. And now I hear that Jon has been offered $20,000 to pose for Playgirl! Please, Jon, Please, be the bigger person and just say no.

  3. Hey, at least she has a new hairdo. So maybe the news will talk about something other than her hair.Maybe her obvious botox injections?
    Boy, I'm snarky today.

  4. I will admit I have seen way too much "Jon and Kate plus 8" because my daughter loves that show. She also likes to watch "19 and counting" with the Dugger family, who doesn't let their kids watch the evils of tv but will exploit them for money ON tv.! I will say that I prefer Kate simply because she takes care of her kids and Mrs. Dugger's kids take care of Mrs. Dugger's kids. That being said I am not a FAN of Kate. I called it a long time ago.."It's going to be Kate and 8 if she doesn't treat him nicer" Seriously- if your husband wants to take the kids out to play---ALL of them at once---they could all go out there stark naked!! HIm included and I would never say word!! (of course I am such a scrapbook addict that I would spend my precious few moments of silence outside taking stupid pictures instead of in the tub with a margarita!) But you cannot treat your hubby like that and expect him to stick around for long. Anyway -- I am not a fan of the dancing show and even when they tried to entice me with Donny Osmond I didn't watch so I highly doubt I will get to watch little miss "celebrity for no reason" dance her way into more $$$....unless my daughter wants to.